Today, we are talking about relationships, because they affect not only your emotional but also your physical health as well. If you are in your late twenties, chances are, many of your friends are getting married. Marriage is a big step in any relationship, and because people fail to ask the questions we will mention below, many marriages end up in divorce. So if you are planning on getting married, ask your significant other these simple 12 questions.
1. How did your family resolve issues at home?
Were there plates thrown, a calm discussion, or was the issue tugged under the rug? Whether a relationship is a success or a failure, often solely depends on how you deal with any problems that arise. The family dynamic can affect the way they deal with issues, and it can resurface in your relationship.
2. How much baggage are you carrying from your past relationships and how are we planning to deal with it?
Are you completely okay with my baggage and the way it affects me? Nobody likes to talk about past relationships, but before making significant commitments, the elephant in the room should be addressed. Everyone who has had serious relationships in the past may carry some baggage which can affect your relationship in the future. It’s best to address it early and determine how both of you will deal with it.
3. What is the level of religious importance for you?
What is a religion for you anyway? If two people share different backgrounds of faith, how will each of you pursue your affiliations? What will you do about religious traditions? If you have children in the future, how will you handle your children’s religious education?
4. Will you be interested in having kids together?
What is the level of responsibility you are prepared to take with the child? What is your experience level with a baby? Many people fail to address this question, then are shocked to learn that their partner has always had different expectations. If you both do want children, what do you imagine your role as? How many do you want? Is your partner willing to change the diapers?
5. Regarding personal space, what is the level of tolerance we could work with?
Could you stand me spending some time away from you? You don’t want to smother or unknowingly neglect each other, so it’s important to discuss how you will handle alone and together time.
6. How involved will our families be in our marriage?
Will we live together with them, allowing them in our private lives, child-rearing or financial decisions? Parents tend to have more influence than people expect them too, so it’s important to discuss expectations you and your partner have of your parent’s involvement.
7. How open, or not, are you with both or one of us flirting with other people?
How far can the flirting go? What would be considered cheating? Is watching pornography O.K.? Your partner may have different ideas of what may be inappropriate or hurtful to the relationship. Having clear boundaries and establishing trust up-front is the way to go.
8. How important is sex for you?
How often do you expect to have sex? Do you have any particular kinks which require considerable adjustments from my side? Sex will affect your mood, health, and your relationship. Try to achieve a balance, where both of you are happy.
9. What is love to you?
How important is a conventional expression of love to you? Can you understand subtle gestures which mean love? Valentine’s day, anniversaries, and day-to-day displays of affection, what are your expectations? Does your partner want to end every conversation with “I love you” or are subtle gestures okay?
10. What is it that irritates you the most?
What are some pet peeves that you have? To succeed in any relationship, it’s important to find out what things you can avoid to prevent unnecessary conflicts. It’s important to respect your partner, as these things that tug away at the relationship over time. Most of the time, they are easy fixes.
11. How responsible or reckless with money are you?
Who needs to set the rules for finances between the two of us? If one of you wants to go shopping and the other one wants to save for a trip, one of you will undoubtedly be crushed when you check your bank account. Speaking of bank accounts, will your finances be joined or do you want to share the bills, and keep what you bring in?
12. Can you see us growing old together?
Where do you see us in 10 years? If the relationship deteriorates, do you consider divorce as an option, or is marriage for life? Is there anything you are afraid of?
These topics will repeatedly come up whether you like them or not, so don’t be afraid to ask these kinds of questions before or even during marriage. If you can calmly talk about these questions and find something that works for both of you, you will have a longer and happier marriage. However, all relationships are give-and-take. “My way or the highway” attitudes, rarely make two people happy, so be prepared to be open-minded and willing to compromise. Enjoy the journey together.